tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post2301993455834070217..comments2013-06-07T23:48:07.842-04:00Comments on 409 for Thought: Malthus ParagraphAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00331030883371371862noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-22279719167111765292012-09-18T14:26:26.450-04:002012-09-18T14:26:26.450-04:00If you put in a conclusion that sums it up that wo...If you put in a conclusion that sums it up that would strengthen it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16816071367174130375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-56200590617907110592012-09-18T14:14:48.955-04:002012-09-18T14:14:48.955-04:00Yo this is very good I like the language but "...Yo this is very good I like the language but "To slow population growth, there are two kinds of checks. There are positive checks, which are natural disasters..." could be one sentence which would make it sound smoother. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11585030835856189010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-10975846072889502282012-09-18T14:09:38.254-04:002012-09-18T14:09:38.254-04:00I don't know if its meant to be like this, but...I don't know if its meant to be like this, but you write "the go ahead and have seven children" (in the second to last sentence) and i don't know if you may have meant to write "then" instead of "the"! Also, some of your sentences could be combined into one sentence. Julia Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-69728664263178401262012-09-18T13:55:47.294-04:002012-09-18T13:55:47.294-04:00Hello Heather
I think you might want to add a con...Hello Heather<br /><br />I think you might want to add a concluding sentence that sums up the overall idea of your entire paragraph to give it a more clear ending. Also, in the 2nd sentence instead of population being higher than food i think you mean food needs to be higher than the population in order for society to thrive (but I'm not sure).<br />hsiehbluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17322955161898298061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-7800432878362235502012-09-18T13:54:55.247-04:002012-09-18T13:54:55.247-04:00I like that you have included the facts of populat...I like that you have included the facts of population growing at an exponential rate as opposed to food increasing at a fixed rate. However, I would avoid the informal generalization that "when a family's income would only be able to support one or two children, they go ahead and have seven children."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07567758098450539558noreply@blogger.com