tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post8653276740223051784..comments2013-06-07T23:48:07.842-04:00Comments on 409 for Thought: Will Luzaitis- Malthus ParagraphAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00331030883371371862noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-60340518407884648902012-09-14T11:34:43.580-04:002012-09-14T11:34:43.580-04:00A few miscellaneous spelling and grammar areas suc...A few miscellaneous spelling and grammar areas such as "to" instead of "too" and "there" instead of "their." "Out grow" can be made into "outgrow (one word not two). Also try to avoid the first person; there is at least one time you use it. To improve on the actual writing of the paragraph, I would recommend that you go into more than directly what he says about checks, and say what he thinks might happen, and what the consequences of the poor's reproduction is. Other than that your paragraph is very good.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01933099639857301536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-5048128699284811002012-09-14T11:33:58.533-04:002012-09-14T11:33:58.533-04:00Good job Will! Go more in depth about Malthus'...Good job Will! Go more in depth about Malthus's view towards the poor/why he does not like them. Be sure to include their dynamic with the higher classes. Bahar Sheikhinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-76434964211780156502012-09-14T11:30:20.740-04:002012-09-14T11:30:20.740-04:00Dear Will,
Great job on the paragraph! Remember t...Dear Will,<br /><br />Great job on the paragraph! Remember that this is in the past meaning that all verbs are in the past tense. There are a few spelling and grammar errors, however you do a great job of describing how the population is outgrowing the food supply. Overall keep up the good work and I really enjoyed reading this paragraph.<br /><br />-MichaelMichael P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07744799355391397156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-76751506081885422602012-09-14T11:29:55.619-04:002012-09-14T11:29:55.619-04:00I really like your paragraph Will. I liked how you...I really like your paragraph Will. I liked how you used Malthus's checks as the evidence for your paragraph. I have a suggestion for one of your sentences: "Humans need food and also need to reproduce, but when they reproduced to much, we out grow our food supply." say "they" not "we" before "out grow our food supply". Great work!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02420220801678979229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-1591042099659897882012-09-14T11:28:16.616-04:002012-09-14T11:28:16.616-04:00Good evidence Will just make sure your using the r...Good evidence Will just make sure your using the right to. In most of the cases it should have been too. Well written though except for some grammatical errorsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06701476197249570606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6974207119137509719.post-84782729264508202392012-09-14T11:24:38.626-04:002012-09-14T11:24:38.626-04:00Great evidence on checks but you never show the sh...Great evidence on checks but you never show the shortage of food and how it is connected to these checks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08936250117200687434noreply@blogger.com