Term 1 Extra Credit (TAN)

Eunice Lee

TAN

Ms.Shapero

Extra Credit for Term 1

From this term, I demonstrated a growth mind-set for the Industrial Revolution Writing Workshop assignment. This assignment was to create a thesis based on what we have learned throughout the Industrial revolution unit and write a body paragraph. Unfortunately, on the day of the writing work shop, I realized that I had to write a body paragraph for homework , not only the essay outline. I was embarrassed by my clumsiness and bewildered because I was confident after working hard on the outline for homework. While other classmates were peer-editing each other’s paragraphs, I thought that I would not be able to get any edit from peer and my essay won’t improve much. So, after class, I sent my body paragraph to my writing workshop group members for peer-edit. One of the peer said many of my evidences that I felt strongly confident in body my paragraph was too stretched and not directly related to my argument. Although I arrived in class not completely prepared for the writing workshop and had to work extra at home, I tried to encourage myself that I can revise my essay and make it stronger and clear. Also I told myself that I have enough time to work on it during the weekend as well. First, I tried to compare the feedbacks from two different peers so that I can make changes based on the feedbacks that they both gave. Afterwards, the second draft seemed more clear and had relevant evidences. I usually hesitate to take out some wordy sentences or analysis because I thought it makes my analysis more deeper. However, for this essay assignment, I took a risk to take out sentences that made my argument unclear and irrelevant to the topic sentence. Additionally, since I knew that I always struggle with word choices and grammar, I searched dictionary for more appropriate dictions and corrected the grammars. After several revisions, I compared my final draft with my first one. I was able to see improvements in my essay. It was more concise and clear. Even the words that was unclear in the first draft was understandable. I also visited social studies lab to make sure my essay was concise from teacher’s prospective as well. Luckily, Mr. Getz gave me a feedback that overall my essay has a strong idea and relevant evidences except for few parts were unclear. My growth mind-set improved my social study writing skill that I thought about it in fixed-mind set, believing that I will always have a limited ability to write social studies essay because of my language barrier.