Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A page stolen from Francisco Pizarro's diary

June  26, 1541

Dear Diary,

I have heard quite a few rumors one of the children of one of those Incan barbarians is coming out for me. I don't believe them, but since I'm nearing the end of my days anyway perhaps I should write everything down so my great legacy can live forever.

I was born in Spain, and I am loyal to Spain. When I was in my mid 20's, I heard a bunch of rumors that Panama and the area around it had a bunch of gold, so I took a bunch of men down there to look for it. Unfortunately, there were some disasters, so that was an emormous failure.

However, I heard some more genuine rumors a few years after Hermando took down the Aztecs that there was some serious gold down in the area south of Panama in a place called Peru. After I confirmed the amazing loot of the Inca Empire I found, the governor declined my request to take a large squad of soldiers down there. Fortunately, convincing King Charles V was not very hard, so I was able to secure 180 men and two cannons to take to overthrow the Inca Empire.

We could not have arrived at a better time. The Incan leader Atahualpa was at civil war with his brother Huascar, so we were able to march right into the heart of the empire. Seeing the 40,000 men they had there, I decided on a more cunning approach. I invited the Incan emperor out to a meeting. He decided to only bring 6,000 unarmed men with him, which was a fatal mistake. My men slaughtered his, and I decided to copy Hermando's technique and have my rule go through him. Unfortunately, he offered a ransom instead, so I killed him and took the ransom. After that, I started a war with the Inca and took everything they had. The war finally ended 40 years later, so we now own all that nice land and money. Ah, it's a good life.

Hmm, I thought I heard an eerie sound, but I guess that's probably the sound of supper.

Francisco Pizarro


No comments:

Post a Comment