During second term I wrote a paragraph on the fall of classical civilizations. I did two drafts of the paragraph, which I received feedback on. I received feedback from a classmate and from my teachers who both saw problems with my last piece of evidence because it did not support my argument. In my later draft I changed the evidence so that it would fit more smoothly with my paragraph’s main argument. I have learned from the paragraph that sometimes the evidence that you have the most on or stood out to you the most, is not always the best evidence for your paragraph because sometimes you have to dig deeper to find more supportive evidence. Because of formative assessment I was able to change and improve my last piece of evidence from traditions to about the farmers and peasants rebelling.
The formative assignment helped me get feedback from a student and teacher. The student who peer edited my paragraph said that I needed to change the tradition evidence because it did not fit in with the paragraph. She also said that the evidence supports that economic failure within the society is the cause not the loss of control, which I was using as my main argument. The formative assignment helped me improve my writing in the fall of civilization paragraph and allowed me to learn from my mistakes.