Friday, September 14, 2012
Although the educated man is perfectible, the poor man is unable to recognize the need for both natural checks and preventative checks, which prevent an unsustainable ratio between population and its resources. first of all, the nature of man is to reproduce, and the uneducated man has little knowledge of how to oppose that nature. Therefore, this leads to a disproportion with there being either too many resources for men to withhold, or too many men for the resources to keep up with. i believe that it is the poor causing these problems and their mistakes should be corrected with both natural and preventative checks. Natural checks in cases such as poverty, famine, disease, or war whereas preventative checks should be introduced to limit the family size and the amount of children.
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Hi Adam! I think your paragraph is off to a great start. In your second draft, maybe you could consider adding more specific evidence and a little bit more analysis. Also, if you could try to avoid writing in the first person, that would be better.
ReplyDeleteGood start to paragraph but you need more analysis i think. You wrapped it up good though but you should give more info about natural and prevenative checks because der important.
ReplyDeletethanks mkginnn, der we go, i will try and add more analysis to the 2 checksm im gunna use ur paragraph to help me, err we go
DeleteAmerica rocks and is better than England!
Deletei believe that america wasn't the best in the industrial revolution... england was
DeleteThis is a strong paragraph, although i agree with tyler, you should add some more specific evidence. Also, try adding a couple more points concerning food. You have a strong view on the population increasing, but not as much on how the need for food will increase.
ReplyDeleteNice paragraph! I think that it is all good until you talk about both the preventative and positive checks but you don't give much analysis on them. I recommend that you expand on the checks a bit more.
ReplyDeleteI like how you talk about the nature of man, but you might want to be a little clearer when you talk about the disproportion between man and nature and how balance can be maintained.
ReplyDeleteGood paragraph adam! You have some punctuation errors, for example you forgot to capitalize the first letter in two of your sentences. Other than that i think you have really good analysis, but maybe you should add strong specific evidence.
ReplyDeleteBuen trabajo Adam!!! me gusta la perspectiva que tomas en el argumento, muy original. Solo hay un pequeño detalle que hace falta cambiar. natural checks no existen.... se llaman positive checks.
ReplyDeleteTambien iría bien que no utilizaras nombres personales.
si no lo entiendes dime also