Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Malthus, Ron
Population checks must be implicated in order to sustain a society that can not outgrow it's food supply and issues regarding insuffiencent amounts of food and poverty are one's own problem. If the population gets too large, then there will not be enough food for everyone which will result in starvation and a large, struggling lower class. If there are population checks, then there will not be the problem of too many poor people who are suffering from starvation. In addition, since the idea of population checks have been enforced yet, the people who do endure lack of financial stability and an inadequate amount of food are to blame themselves. They are aware of their economical situation yet choose to reproduce anyways, despite the fact that they have nothing to support their offspring with. What will help support and maintain a steady number is positive and preventive checks. Positive checks are natural whilst the preventive checks are something controlled to keep the population at a regular number.
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ReplyDeleteI think your paragraph is good overall however I would suggest having the last sentence be more of a conclusion, connecting your points together.
ReplyDeleteIf you add an example of a positive check and that Malthus liked the checks I think it will make your paragraph stronger and it will also add specific details straight from the article.
ReplyDeleteYour sentence "since the idea of population checks have not been enforced yet" is effective in including the psychological part of the reading. However, I would reread and then reword sentences such as "preventative checks are something controlled to keep the population at a regular number" because that sounds confusing.
ReplyDeleteHi Veronika, I would check simple things like your commas especially in the thesis/topic sentence. Also I believe you have one or two unnecessary periods. Overall you proved our thesis well. P.S. His name Is Thomas Malthus, who's Ron ? lol
ReplyDeletedis is good ron!! Add some evidence maybe possibly to prove your point a leeetle bit more
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