Malthus
Paragraph
Garrett
Kasper
Population
checks must be implemented in order to sustain a society that cannot outgrow
its food supply and the issues regarding insufficient amounts of food and
poverty are one individual’s problem.
The Earth’s food surplus cannot supply rapid population growth. The concept which Malthus introduces is the preventative check. Thomas Malthus’ idea of society implies that
a society’s population is dependent on the men. A man should not try to have more children than he can support. If the man cannot supply his children with enough food they will die because all living beings need food to live. An individual man is attached to a woman later in life, it may prevent rapid growth in population. But of course, a man would never apprehend himself. Thomas Malthus explains that a high population is mans fault because the
man does not observe the problems of other people. The positive checks theory shortens life naturally, thus lowering the population. Several concepts keep the community in
balance, such as wars, plagues, famines, epidemics, and disease. The population can never be higher than the
food supply because people need food to survive. Lastly, implemented population checks must be
instigated in order to sustain a society with financial stability and enough
food to supply the entire population.
Good job Garrett, but you could lengthen your paragraph by being more descriptive.
ReplyDeleteGarrett- I hear what your saying and you have some very strong points, but your paragraph at times is repetitive and redundant. Try bringing something new to the table, such as more specifics and evidence. Its great that you have your reasoning, but reasoning isn't worth much if there isn't (enough) good evidence to support it. Grammatically, your paragraph is strong, however, you are a bit repetitive with your word choice. For example you use the word "population" way too much. With these edits you will have a very well rounded paragraph
ReplyDelete-Will
Thanks Will for the constructive criticism that will help me with my work. I'll consider your ideas in my writing to make my paragraph greater by lengthening, changing word choice, and being less repetitive.
DeleteHi- i think this is a really good start, i like how you started off vague, and then started to get to the point, you just need to add a bit more detail. Maybe explain the positive and preventive checks? after introducing the positive and preventive checks you could say "Several concepts keep the population in balance, such as wars, plagues, famines, epidemics, and disease, which is an example of a positive check." or something like that. Then you could say "The population can never be higher than the food supply because people need food to survive, this being a preventive check." and then you could go into detail about how the poor then lead to accuse the rich because the population is higher then the food supply, and the poor are overproducing too much...something like that! Hope this helps!:) this is a really good start, you just have to build off of it.
ReplyDelete-Diana