Friday, September 14, 2012
Although a higher population provides more workers, families must be aware of the amount of children they can support, and the amount of resources available. Too many people can result in not having enough resources to support the population, therefore lowering the quality of life each family gets to live. Although the more people there are for jobs, the less job opportunity there is for the people. A high population also makes more crowded living spaces that would most likely be messy an unsanitary for families to raise their children in.
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SOme of your sentences dont make sense and you need to make it clearer. "Although the more people there are for jobs, the less job opportunity there is for the people." also, you should make it longer and provide more specific analysis
ReplyDeleteI really like your thesis. However, I think it would benefit your paragraph if you added evidence from the reading. You could also add a few sentences to your paragraph by talking about the expanding poor population and how they were inaccurately blaming the rich for their misery.
ReplyDeletei think this is good as an analyasis. But i would try to prove your thesis more by adding evidence from the reading that proves why families should have less kids.
ReplyDeleteI love the paragraph, however I suggest you you add a few transition words to make it a flow better.
ReplyDeleteGood job on the paragraph, but I think you should explain what Mathus believe what would stop overpopulation.
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