While a large population gives factories more employees, it causes the food supply to run low, therefore causing positive checks to be necessary in order to prevent the poor from overpopulating and blaming the government. In order for society to thrive, the population must be higher than the amount of food. However, population increases at an exponential rate, and food increases at a fixed rate. This means that eventually population will surpass food, and people will starve. To slow population growth, there are two kinds of checks. There are positive checks, which are natural disasters, and preventative checks, which rely on human judgement. When the poor blame the government and the aristocracy for their poverty, they do not realize that the true cause of their poverty is their fault. When a family’s income would only be able to support one or two children, the go ahead and have seven children. They then blame others for their own mistakes.
I like that you have included the facts of population growing at an exponential rate as opposed to food increasing at a fixed rate. However, I would avoid the informal generalization that "when a family's income would only be able to support one or two children, they go ahead and have seven children."
ReplyDeleteHello Heather
ReplyDeleteI think you might want to add a concluding sentence that sums up the overall idea of your entire paragraph to give it a more clear ending. Also, in the 2nd sentence instead of population being higher than food i think you mean food needs to be higher than the population in order for society to thrive (but I'm not sure).
I don't know if its meant to be like this, but you write "the go ahead and have seven children" (in the second to last sentence) and i don't know if you may have meant to write "then" instead of "the"! Also, some of your sentences could be combined into one sentence.
ReplyDeleteYo this is very good I like the language but "To slow population growth, there are two kinds of checks. There are positive checks, which are natural disasters..." could be one sentence which would make it sound smoother.
ReplyDeleteIf you put in a conclusion that sums it up that would strengthen it.
ReplyDelete