Tuesday, September 18, 2012
In the writing "On the Principle of Population" by Thomas R. Malthus, Malthus shares his thoughts on his dislike of population growth and ways to limit it. Population control is necessary through natural and man controlled checks in order to stabilize food supply all because the poor reproduces more than they can manage. THe first point made by Malthus was that "food is necessary to the existence of man" and the more people in a designated area, the less food supply there will be. Because of increased population, the food increases at a slower rate than the population leaving people with not enough food. If the population is controlled, food scarcity should not be a problem. A way to help limit the population in order to have enough food is through checks. THere are two different types of checks, positive and preventative. Positive checks are natural and help expose the population to bad atmospheres to shorten their life. Preventative checks are man-controlled and they help prevent large families through the idea that one man has to support his whole family. By avoiding have several offspring, the small families can enjoy their lives more thoroughly knowing they have a lower chance in poverty. Overall Malthus mainly focuses on the poor because he believes they are the main cause of over population. He believes that the poor accuses "the society in which they live and the government" for all their financial issues however in reality, their poverty is their own fault because they over-produce, not being able to afford the amount of offspring they have. Because of the poor reproducing more that they can handle, population control through stabilizing food supply and positive and preventative checks is essential.
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Hi- i think this is really well structured, starts off vague then goes into a lot of detail. There were a few grammar errors just capitalization of both H's in a the and a there. I love how you quoted one of Malthus' principles too. Also in the sentence "by avoiding have several offspring..." i think it should be having not have. Overall this is really good just a few grammatical errors! Hope this helped:)
ReplyDelete-Diana
good paragraph, but you should look back for capitalizing the first two letters of the sentence because there are a few areas where that has happened. Apart from that it was good.
ReplyDeleteI really like the detail of your paragraph explaining Malthus' thoughts. I don't understand the sentence that says " Preventative checks are man-controlled and they help prevent large families through the idea that one man has to support his whole family." so you may want to make sure that it is more clear to help get the definition of a preventative check across to the person reading your paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThank you for pinpointing a specific sentence I needed to revise. I found this very helpful because I wasn't sure if that sentence was confusing or not.
DeleteAs Diana was saying, there are a few grammatical errors. I enjoyed your quote integration, and you made everything flow extremely well. I would also suggest adding in the fact that the poor were somewhat aware that they overproduced, but they always needed to blame others for their wrongdoings, not to mention using the fact that they were poor it the first place as an excuse. I hope my feedback makes sense to you...anyways, very strong paragraph, these were just a few things i noticed while reading.
ReplyDelete-Will
Overall, I think your paragraph is very good, and your use of detail and a quotation really strengthened it. However, you should put the explanation of the two types of checks before you start giving evidence/Malthus's points just to make it a bit clearer, and other than that there are a couple of grammatical/spelling errors.
ReplyDelete-Lily
This is a beautiful paragraph. It is so good in fact, that the only critism I have is to make the "h" lower case in "the." Thanks, hope the family is well. Veron
ReplyDeleteGood use of quotes. You may want to find a quote about the checks.
ReplyDelete