Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Malthus paragraph draft 1

Population control is necessary through natural and manmade efforts in order to sustain/stabilize a food supply and prevent poverty because those whom are poor cannot afford or be accountable for their children. In Malthus's argument he makes it clear that one could not afford having kids in the life they had chosen but also should not accuse society for their inability to pay for their kids. Meaning that people must take full responsibility for the position they have put themselves in. When writing about poverty and food supply Malthus says "... He accuses the partial and institutions of society... The last person he would think is to accuse himself" (reader p.99). Most people jump to blaming others because they do not want to take the responsibility for their actions especially when it has to do with something so drastic. Although society can influence, it cannot be the sole reason to blame for situations like so. With over population there becomes a greater need for food; food cannot be produced as quickly and easily as human beings can, there for the supply of food will not be sufficient. In order to control this Malthus believes that there is a need for population checks whether it is man made or not.


  1. This is super good char I like the specifics and details, it makes the paragraph a lot stronger. But with that being said, your last sentence does not conclude the paragraph and I believe that if you continue with that final example and explain it a little more, it will be a better concluding sentence. Happy bday lol

    1. lol thanks ron!! My b I forgot about a concluding sentence >.< :p XD XD XD

  2. Your thesis is good, and I think that your use of that quote and the evidence that was used to support it really strengthened your paragraph. I think that your concluding sentence could be a bit stronger, but other than that there are only a few grammatical errors. Overall you did a really good job of using your evidence to support your thesis.

  3. Try to avoid grammatical errors such as unnecessary word conjunctions. (manmade is an example). more specific evidence and reasoning should be utilized in your paragraph. You might also want to spread out your information, it seems a little bunched.